on Family photography and motherhood
N O W P L A Y I N G : ‘You and I’ by SYML and Charlotte Lawrence // Are you a mum who would love to be in more family photography, but there’s a lot of noise you struggle to drown out? Same. I’m not going to tell you to ‘capture the moment’ because that phrase just isn’t my kind of language, and to be honest, there are plenty of moments that we’d happily have filtered off into the archive. For me it’s more about acknowledging the feelings. The connection, the humour and the sheer humility that comes with motherhood. The waves that pass through us and we scrabble to soak them in because we know they can be fleeting.
During the two years I spent researching for my MFA, I listened to hundreds of women talk about their relationship with photography and why it isn’t as simple as it might seem. Here are the key takeaways:
· Being on camera can be a challenge – especially when it comes to fears about body image. Many mums described their fear and awkwardness around being photographed.
· Despite the fear, an overwhelming majority of mums wished they were in more photos with their kids.
· A massive 90% of mums said they believe the value of photography has increased for them since having kids.
Personally, there’s nothing here that is a surprise to me, because I feel these things too. All of them and wholeheartedly. Yet this process also taught me to dig deeper into why the value of family photography can drown out the noise of our fears.
Storytelling is how we make sense of the world and photographs are one of the most powerful tools we have to work with. I’d say ‘even’ the messy, imperfect ones, but I really I mean ‘especially’ the messy, imperfect ones. And here’s the thing, photos hit differently with time - the bits we fear now fade away and the significance of the memory increases. It’s not about recording perfection; it’s about filing away feelings as things change and grow, as your family changes and grows, and giving you all something to look back on.
It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure to look a certain way – I’m not going to deny that I sometimes love to have a more curated feel to things. Maybe it’s not for everyone, but I believe we can have a bit of both - more than one thing can be true at the same time. There’s beauty in gorgeous light and appealing colour schemes, and there’s joy in the messy and mundane. They’re not mutually exclusive.
So maybe it’s not about “capturing the moment” in some idealized way or with an awkward phrase. Maybe it’s about giving ourselves the permission to step into the it, flaws and all, and recognising that we’re an essential part of the story. You don’t have to look a certain way or have it all together. Just back yourself to be there, in the frame, with your family. I know it’s easier said than done — the discomfort can be real. But when I look back at the photos I almost avoided, or deleted, I’m glad I didn’t. Because they remind me, and my kids, that I was there. And that’s the whole point, isn’t it?
Being there.
For some practical tips on getting into more photos with your family, get your free download here.